PDX to LAX

Okay, so I get weird thoughts when I travel.

Like this: PDX to LAX sounds like I'm all stuffy and tense, but soon I'll be... reLAXed.

Or: My first initials and my name (D.J. Billings) sounds like a Spinmaster who does mixes for accounting firms' hold music.

How about my morning Haiku:

Make me a Haiku

Please don't cut it in pieces

I want a whole one

Or: It's interesting that the 9/11 tragedy gave airports the opportunity to become shopping malls.

I'm always early to the airport. It comes from my childhood as the son of an airline employee. We always flew on standby, so we had to be extra early. I can't be late to airport. I even tried it once in NYC. Turned out that my version of "late" meant that I was only there 20 minutes early, rather than 2 hours.

When I was around 15 or so, my friend Jeff and I used to explore the back rooms, side exits, and roof tops of Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix. Yes, just for fun.

You can't do that anymore. I weep for my children that they'll never have that exhilirating experience. So very sad.

There was a guy on the MAX who had set up his office across four seats and proceeded to talk loudly to just about every person on his mobile address book. Way too tan, dressed like a lawyer, a little too neatly groomed (yes, there is such a thing).

He also had these folders with cards and Post-Its that he referred to on every call. All I could think was that he couldn't remember anything about the people he was talking to (at), so he had to go to the Cliff notes.

I started wondering to myself why it's so annoying to hear someone's loud mobile phone conversation, but it's not always annoying to hear two people talking nearby.

I think that it has something to do with hearing only one side of a conversation (it doesn't make sense in your brain, unless you're listening to a Bob Newhart routine). Also, when two people converse, they usually don't spell everything out in great detail at high volume.

I think that's it. I'm still working on the theory.

Those are my thoughts for the morning. I'm sure I'll have more. Some I couldn't share out loud, like: Wow, I bet that lady has a really hard time on the toilet.

Oops. I just shared it, didn't I?